A Lonely Raya Night

23rd of October 2006, it was announced, not officially, that Eid Fitr is tomorrow. I was happy*past tense noted* at least, to not that Raya does not befall on Physics Day and that day has passed. Was all smiles on the way home, hand on hand with my 'one and only'. Nice day; the weather. Not too hot, not too cold. Just a cool, fine breeze.

Balik balik, mami (I'm refering to my homestay female parent) was ready to cook meals so that we cam invite friends over. Yeay! Excitement in the night. For now, I'll just hang out with him. teehee.... but First disappontment: soccer till nak dekat berbuka. Well then, he left with my groans and masam muka, but that came quickly, knowing how usefuke the internet can be, when it's almost six and. He and friends came to the house. he brought back 2 dozens of bunga putih but tak tau ape name die.. i thot laaa aku dah nak mati ke? but then it's the thought that counts so yeay! dapat bunga!!!! back to reality, i quickly set up tha table for my guests (Mama, u'd be proud teehee) then waited for the excitement.
Orang datang, gelak-gelak, pictures, makan kuih raya.that was it. no excitement like in bp or malim nawar.I abstractly slapped myself for saying somethinglike that. Orang dah datang nak complain plak! ape pulak diorang nak rase. Fine, then i was contented making myself bz to not think of kampung. Later on, happily watching australian idol, ada la makhluk Allah ckp, "Nak balik kampung. I'm the only one not there." i scolded him in my heart.
bodoh! here i am tanak buat orang punye feelings hurt die main ckp lepas je. Maybe die homesick or more like friend-sick. But he repeated himself over and oevr again asthough regretting being her. Now i'm pissed la kan.I try to snap back at him in the most subtle tone, " Hey, you're not the only one okay..." Didn't work. Arh! lantak laaaa...
Back to watching Idol, i took out sparklers
(bunga api besi tuh) and that was the excitement. Tu yang nak sgt tuh- main bunga api... Felt a wee bit like kampung, innit?!? Took a few pictures before the battery ran out on me. Dapatlah main 5 batang sorang. Was happy. Really was! Then everyone wanted to head home. i quickly stood up from bersila-ing on the floor tengok idol to say thank you for coming. but eh eh die pun ckp goodbye. Out to skate. pukul 8. It's just skate, so y wud i be sad and pull a face betul tak? Besides die balik and malam masih muda so i get to spend Raya Night with him.*nothing funny eh*. So at that time i was a bit bengang so i posted a blog (this previous blog) telling everyone how i felt. It was working, turns out i was typing a lot of cow dung so just published it rather hastily. Tick tock.. Tick tock... i waited for him to come back (now that im reading this so memalukan but just bear with me people time ni tengah sedeyh)
A knock on the doorand he came in. I grinned and hugged him. I'm not alone this raya nite after all*sighs*. Then he said,"My friends dalam bilik" WAAAARRRRGHGHGHGGHH!!! Is this really happening? He left to go take a shower. He wanted the laptop and i lipat la baju since there's nothing else for me to do. The time: TEN o'clock. I'm starting to feel like an Australian not. Ten: BEDTIME!!! I kept my face str8. He closed th door, i gave my best forced smile. I'm alryt. Other friends feel this same lonely feeling. I just don't know their names, i guess. Dah lipat baju nak anta bakul to his room. I hear laughter and conversations. i meant to knock but i left the folded laundry by his door. I went to bed...
See, this wasnt so bad. tomoroa nice raya day. For tonight, i'll sleep on it. call it a day and it's barely eleven. i thought about what he said bout nak balik kampung. i guess he found a way o cure or forget his rinduness. I'm happy for him. But nape now I'm crying? I dunno. sedih kot. tak biasa sorang sorang malam raya. With my white Flowers* serious rasa macam dah mati time tu. You might say i'm sad because he ignored me but no, thats not it. It's because he was the important one, the only important one that i was close to literally and i'd like to spend it with him. I guess we don't agree on that fact. Should i blame myself? i don't see the reason. I've stopped crying now. All is out. There are no boundaries when you put it in words. i know that now. I promise to put this up in my blog. But for now, what a lonely raya night... Am i right?

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