Story of A Goddess

Don't you just love it when you're in your room all cozy and warm in thick warm blankets with a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallow in your hands reading a book and suddenly you see that it's snowing outside. In my world, that only exist in dreams or once every 20 years. Unfortunaly for me, the closest thing to snow in malaysia is RAIN! We just dont have the kind of temperature that can turn the rain to snow. But i found this :

I realize that life is so fragile you need to be careful when living it. For example, when talking to someone when you're in a bad mood, you might end up hurting this person. When you drive too fast and for a split second that you left your eyes off the road; you crash. When you're very happy on some occasions. All these things you can't turn back and relive it. You can try but nothing will be the same. You can't just go back in time and go through the same events to change the outcome or just to feel the feelings that you felt again. And when you're stuck in a bad situation, you can't just hide away from it. Atleast try and fix it, despite the failures to come. You can't refresh the page.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. It's all gibberish.

Everybody I'm following on blog has updated and my dear sister (JANGAN LA SEDIH WHEN I SAY WE DONT NEED YOU!!! NEED IS DIFFERENT THAT WANT. YOUR HAPPINESS IS THERE TOO.I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.) told me to update mine.

Blog #1: Updates on the Twilight Saga: New Moon movie. Had a cute picture of both taylor and robert kissing kristen. Robert looked like he was enjoying himself. Hahah.

Blog #2: Updated about being sad and how she needs intervention to make herself cheerful again. Don't worry. I'll try and intervene. haha

Blog #3: Saying good luck to fellow mates who are going into internship programs.

Blog #4: Talking about how friends will be missed when you heads home to Malaysia. Stepping back to reality.

All of these blogs are great but I think mine would be the greatest. Hahah. I tell you why in a few minutes.

Second agenda of the day, a childhood friend had a birthday party. She is 21 and the brother is 12. Cool eh? they won't get that sort of figures till they are 23 and 32 or 34 and 43 or 45 or 54 and so on.... I like going there because of the cupcakes.

It's the weekends and HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED (wrote the previous entry btw =D) has gone home! HOME which is on another island! BAh! We were suppose to hang out and watch movie the night before because this morning he had to drive his friends and all. Anyway, I totally screwed my body clock and slept from 6pm to 4AM!!! I remembered waking up a few times. at 7 plus when he came and at night when he woke me up to eat and what not. But I didnt. And I remembered he put me to sleep at 12. finally letting me have my rest. I woke up at 4 feeling rather guilty because now i have less time to spend with him..... And now he's gone. WAAAA~!

Moving on, this morning I hung out at his place to send him off in BJ, then my family and I went to a sale in Atria mall in Damansara Jaya. Zara, Mossimo Dutti, Ted Baker and Pull & Bear are among a few brands. I got just one wrap around office dress. Ena got a cute cotton lacy tube top and mum got a sleeveless sweater/vest and comfy sweatpants. Dad's the driver..... haha


Then, we had lunch in Popeyes in TTDI. bleh... I don't like the food there. Bland....

I thought my day is done but we got dragged to central market in the heart of KL!! ARGH!! that's the worst. But I did find the place interesting. I have never been there. My twenty years of life! Gosh! The good part was that there was famous amos and I had my long-term craving No Nut Chocolate Chip Soft Cookie *melts*...!! After hours of whining and M-I-A's, Eleena saw a foot massage place. AAHHH that's the best 30 minutes of my day. =)

Consequently, we had to go home and right after the long drive, eleena and I decided to go to the cineleisure mall to buy new moon tickets. The jam was horrible! The heavy rain has apparently flooded half the road so there were many unfortunate drivers who had to stop at the side because their car lost power. Kesian. I was worried about Diva too. But she did a great job at driving swiftly through the massive puddle of water. Got the tickets and finally went home. Now, I'm gonna relax and just sleeeeep or read a few books that I have left untouched due to exams. I cant feel my arms now. Too much typing with little practise. It's starting to cramp up now.


bye bye

xoxo
Eli

I stalled in updating it because i wanted the last entry to be the first one. anyway i also wanted to put pictures. but i got lazy. The pictures are in My mum's phone. I'll give a second update.

I'm staring at snoring eli's tiny little foot which is hanging off the side of her bed as I type this.

I am supposed to be in line for tickets to New Moon in Cineleisure right now and she's supposed to be at some Raya open house.

Uh-huh...

I guess it'll be Mulan 2 and Oreos for the night X)

Happy Raya everyone.

and HELLO BABY!!!!

Yesterday might be the last day I see most of my IMU m207 friends. It was a blast guys. Words can't describe how much fun it has been. Finals are finally over. This is just a quick update because Eid-Adha is also today and have been busy spending time with family.
I look like I'm having fun, aren't I? More piccas on FB.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=44348&id=1344406554&l=76242183da
Check it out guys. Missing UK because tomoro he will be leaving for Penang tomoro. And i dont want to have too much fun before the results because I dont want to end up being miserable again and again and again....

Will update more soon.


xoxo
Eli

Ah.. I had OSCE's. You know the one with stationsand patients and crap! I'm not gonna talk about it. I don't want to jinx it. I wont make it bad. It wasn't all entirely good but I know I could've done better. So now, after a hard days worth with very little sleep. I will just relax....
And now i shall take a powerful rejuveniditating nap. ngaha!
Sweet dreams.

xoxo
Eli

Hah. I knew i couldn't kick ospe's ass today but atleast i could answer most of the questions and although some answers are entirely fictional and self-proclaimed theories, I have a good feeling that i actually passed it. Although there are some frustrating facts about my careless answers and idiocy. That's done and i'm happy. To those doing medicine I know you have heard of ospe's but to some lemme waste some time explaining it.



Imagine a room with arranged cubicles (side by side) where you can sit in one and see no other surrounding. You can feel the presence of you mates on either side but the cubicle blocks your view on what's on the other side of the divider. It's like sitting on a long dining table with friends but each person has walls on the sides and front. One cubicle is called a station. You are given exam questions on a thick pile of papers. Each station has a question. Let's say for example:

On exam paper: Question 1. Elisha is a 15 year old girl with fever of 3 days.
Picture A. View of her oral cavity.

On station board (Laminated A4 paper with a picture or chart or graph or any visual aid's): Picture A: Shown the back of throat.

So in the paper, questions like describe the gross picture..........................
What is your probable diagnosis?.............................................................
How do you treat it?.................................

Etc etc. Usually there will be more that one picture on each station. And one whole question, corresponding to one station, carries 10 marks. Simple. When you're done you move to the next station in order. till you finish all questions in the paper.

Here's the catch: Each station, you are only given 5 minutes to obtain 10 marks. Hah!

Imagine the panic and the confusion and the time to think is all squeezed into 2 minutes and you have 2 minutes to right down the answers. and another minutes, if you're bloody lucky to check the answers. 5 minutes are up! No time to change answers. You can only check them! hahah

The moving from a station to another is hard enough. GOSH!!! You do have rest stations. Mind you, IMU is very lenient with their students. In more prestigious medical schools or any university that practices this method of evaluation, they don't allow rest stations. So ways to find the loop to change your answers? When you have a station that you can really excel in, flip through the ones that you have missed and try and answer them. Tulisan takpe buruk. Or during the rest station pretend to fill in you ID number or right your name while flipping through each question. Do it discretely!

To those who share the same fate as I do, either you think it's easy because you're a smart ass or you are on the same boat as I am. It's mentally and physically exhausting. Drinking red bull and isotonic drink half hour before is recommended. If less than that, you might end up having palpitations and shivering of the hands. Hahhaha! that's worse.

Like my exam ways? It's better and more interacting but it gives you no chance at all to turn back time and change your mistakes. The only thing to do is to look forward to the next question and do your best and try to not repeat the same mistakes again. Kind of a lesson for life thing don't you think?

Well, that was today, Tuesday. I'm not done yet ladies and gentlemen. We don't have breaks between papers. And we are not so fortunate as to be given divisions of our subjects. Anything and everything that we have learned is being put to test. The practical, the knowledge, the general knowledge, common sense and ability to think quick while being precise and concise.
I'm a lazy ass so I find it quite a struggle. I don't know about the geniuses that i have in my batch. =S

Anyway, tomorrow is the killer ones. It's like ospe, with stations, 5mins and all but this time, you have patients!!! You examine them, take history, and answer relevant questions regarding the case presented. Yup, I need all the luck that I can get for now. And I'm spending to much time on this. I need to read and practice inspecting, palpating, percussing and auscultating a paid simulated patient. Bye for now. Wish me luck.


Ya Allah, bukakanlah pintu hatiku dan tenangkanla jiwa ku agar dapat menjalani peperiksaan esok dengan yakin dan cemerlang. Semoga segala usaha membawa kecemerlangan dan lulus periksa. Aku bertawakkal dan redha dengan apa apa yang diberikan. Pass Exam Please!!

Amin~

I have recently found my long lost twin's blog. You see, despite the fact that we are twins, I was born September 4th 1989 and she was born September 9th 1988 (note the difference in years). We live far apart from each other: I in Malaysia and she in Glasgow.


I remembered the first time seeing her. It was during my boarding school orientation week, in the dining hall having supper that i realized i saw someone really familiar. I mean how can there be another beauty such as i myself in this world! (Oh didn't i tell you I'm a narcissist?) Anyway, back to the story, I was rudely staring I'm sure.... She had long hair, (Ikal mayang?), tan skin, big dark brown eyes, gleaming white teeth and a bright smile. I was awe-struck! Cantiknya! Macam muka aku!I was seated right in front of her. Or wait, maybe diagonally. My weak human brain has a fuzzy memory of that part. But i was like sitting in front of a mirror. The night ended shortly afterwards without me knowing her name. I knew i was looking for a tag but I couldn't find any. HAH!

Later on, I realized I didnt look anything like her. I just thought that we had the same tanned skin (VERY TAN =)) and button noses. I mean, my teeth will never be that white or huge! hehe. Oh and we had the same build (before she went all anorexic on me - its a natural course for her. runs in the family. she's not an actual anorexic). So I left that train of thought wonder off on its own.

Then, when I finally got accepted to KYS, i found out that she was too. She was friends with Arthini since birth maybe. And she cut her loonnng loonnng hair! We were not close to begin with but I was close to Arthini so our bond sorta grew. Little did i know that soon, after a few months, or was it a whole year. I noticed that some students or teachers would call me Izati instead of Elisha. Elisha kan lagi sedap namanya. But Izati lagi popular. NGEE!!

And so the story where we got mixed up continues despite the fact that we are entirely in different classes for three years. What entails are far more important.
It wasn't the fact that we had similar features.
It wasn't the fact that we were indistinguishable.
It wasn't the fact that we had our birthdays close to each other.


It was the fact that we grew inseparable.
It was the fact that we shared secrets and carried burdens and solved problems together.
It was the fact that we somehow have a mental connection and can finish each other's sentences.
It was the fact that we laugh the loudest, cry the hardest and love the deepest.
It was the fact that we were the craziest and we gossip only among tight 6-lady group.
It was the fact that if i were to lose her one day, I'd feel a big part of me gone too.



And for that, we called ourselves twins.
I'm Twinz, She's Twinzy.

Somehow miraculously, our bond was never ruined, if not tightened, over the years that we grew apart physically in different continents. Half way across each other's world. A call to Glasgow ain't cheap! We manage somehow with technology. What with msn, and facebook, and blogs. To begin with, we don't usually see each other and have girls day out. But we have the IZATI-ELISHA ANNUAL SLEEPOVER! Haaa power tak?? teehee. But next year i doubt it can happen cause I'll be in Seremban and she might be coming back for only three weeks. I don't want to be selfish. Maybe i can bunk in with her this time. Seremban and Kajang is closer than Kota D with KJ right?

I look forward to seeing her become a successful pharmacist.
I look forward to having more trips with her when we're older and have lotsa money!
Basically, I look forward to being the one by her side till I'm old and wilting.

Love you Izati Md Ikram

Ever ready to extend my hand of friendship. Welcome to my blog.


*Isn't it a tad bit too much for a welcome post? Hah!
**Imi, if you're reading this, I know you tengah emo. Dont cry when you read this kay? I miss you. Feel free to read my old entries.

What i don't get with myself is, I vow that I won't leave things to the last minute and will do my best for the next exam that comes up. But why the hell am i still stuck in all this shit after all the 5 semesters that i have been here. It didn't start in university life, but since birth! Why do I have to be born lazy hence, need the extra effort for discipline? That I dont get. It would be better if I'm born RAJIN then this wouldnt be so much of a problem. Things are really getting outta hand. I'm really behind my studies and i can't do anything about it. Yea i know, some of you readers might just brush it off and say that I should be spending my time studying than complaining, whining and moping around. Oh well, will get back to studying after i get my beauty nap. Apparently I have stayed up for 23 going 24 hours. And I feel like crap. Crap isn't remotely close.

But anyway, this morning i had pancakes.


Ahhh... scrumptious and creamy and the smooth maple syrup just melts in my mouth like butter on a hot knife. My, I'm salivating just thinking about it now. As much as my stomach is protesting and asking me to eat and further insulate myself with pounds and pounds of fat, I shall cater to my brain's needs to rejuvenate and recuperate. I hate sleeping because one part of our sleep is the REM phase by which Rapid Eye Movements occur and during the blasted phase, 'reverse-learning' takes place. Yes you read it right. What you have learn, although some, you tend to forget them. Why the hell do i study then? URGH!!!

Oh well just a wuick update. Not that anyone reads this. I have loads to tell still. Missing some people and my life.



Oh yea, AZ is coming to town yet i won't be home to see her. I'm sorry baby AZ I see you after exams okay? Aunty Eli is gonna sleep now. Love you

XOXO
Eli

Pardon me, I was googling for a perfect picture of him to present to you but I got carried away. *wipes tears* He is magnificently beautiful. If you're still wondering where you've seen him, He was agent Zero in X-men. Zero to Hero!!! YEAH!!! If any of you by chance is still wondering who the hell he is, just put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger already! Go watch Seducing Mr Perfect. As you guessed, he plays Mr Perfect. With the much-blessed internet, just go find out about him. The world wide web is amazing!!!!!!!!! *drools* Anyway, Mr Perfect here is also a model so watch out for him in any magazines. And to make my life better CBS came out with a new medical series replacing the dying ER show with Three Rivers. And guess who plays Dr David Lee? Yes my fellow readers. He does. *sigh* what a wonderful world. The show is only in it's first season and it's as far as 7-8 episodes. The plot is about organ transplant. Oh and I find it quite disappointing to know that some plot is similar to Grey's Anatomy. But who cares? Daniel BABY Henney is in it! He is definitely McSteamy! Okay, I shall cease talking about him for now. It'll only be pages and pages long before i finally feel like stopping.

Moving on, I found a dear friend's blogger and i have no idea how this person came about my blog but WELCOME!!! Dont trash the site!! and I'm impressed with your work! Great Job!

To Deanna, Jasmin, Fiza and etc. Please feel free to be free during January. I want to go on a vacation. Or just a huge Hang OUT!

To my dear KYS friends. Those who are coming home for Raya Haji/ Christmas/ New Year please contact me. I need to get scheduled. After i'm settled in a new house.<-------- That, we shall talk about in another entry. I'm tired just thinking about Baby Henney.

Till then. Kindly text me and call me when the need arise. Or simply 'cause you're bored. I'm willing to put a smile on your face or a happy swelling balloon in your chest. (No, not to give you gynaecomastia = Huge Boobs). Bye

Have you ever heard any of her songs? She is Zee Avi. Quite proud to say that she is malaysian-born and makes great music. Like Norah Jones only with her own flair in singing styles. She is taken by Jack Johnson's recording studio. The guy who sang 'Banana Pancakes'.
Love them.

Waking up this afternoon, since my sleeping time is disrupted due to studying for finals, I woke up to the song of 'Catch Me' by Demi Lovato. I thought someone called me. But it turns out my meesage alert was the same with my call alerts. I got a text with just one single word. I know that you're reaching out to me. I know what you're trying to tell me. And i found out you stumbled upon those stupid memories. Those cruel letters that are a fragment of what i USED to feel for you. I apologized almost everyday but i can no longer do that to you. I can't stop the change in the matter of hearts. Weren't you the one who told me to listen to my heart. How ironic huh?

Enough of that, i get tired of it. Finals is officially in a week's time and i know very little. yet i waste the time away with my useless rantings and ramblings on this pathetic blog of mine. Oh and speaking of ironic *points to last three words of previous paragraph* i have this friend. i dont know what her fate is but lets just call her S. I love her deeply but she is a bit silly and much too devoted when in a relationship. I guess when ur older and you face more pressure from family members, you tend to cling to the ones you have. Even to extent of possessiveness. Freaky~ but what can i say? anyway, S WAS with W once upon a happy time ago and sadly they broke up because of R. boy that was a big issue to some. to me, i don't really want to interfere and pick sides. it's just cruel. (yeah you, the one that goes crazy just because your friend is cheated over- i mean get over it. it's not like you're the one going through it. there's no need to be so damn mean. I HATE MEAN PEOPLE WHO DOES MEAN THINGS TO OTHER MEAN PEOPLE WHO DOESN'T TREATLY YOU BADLY) <--------------- worst sentence ever. Okay, going back to the ironic part. S and W when they were madly into each other. S made all these plans about going to same partner medical schools and yada yada yada... but then because of the much publicized break up, all those dreams were lost. But S... oooh she's quick cause now she has R who is almost exactly the same with W. And she starts worrying about her future with R. I mean COME ON.. can't you live your life as it is first. And R was not among those who are going to partner medical schools abroad. but you know... as life takes it course R plans to live the country so he pleaded to change his course to fly off. S was happy hoping that the dream of being with him away in another country can still come true. Till now, no sign of R getting anywhere near the singapore border even. the time to match with your desired universities came and go. and they got back their results. and yes you guessed right my fellow readers... S got matched with uni of Belfast with none other than her belated-beloved W. HOW IRONIC IS THAT??!!!!

and those who cried because you didnt go to the same uni as ur beloved... please.. think this through. there will be times that ur together again...

speaking of which. I'm already saying I miss you to UK because if one day after our graduation in 2012 i decided to go off and travel the world doing medical stuff, I will miss him dearly. No i dont plan my future revolving around a particular person. Sure i will make sure UK will stay in my life forever just like my many friends but my career? No, i have to do this myself. I don't know what is coming but if there is any opportunity, i will leap. As of now, i'm mentally preparing myself. So UK starting today, one I MISS YOU is to cover up for ONE day that i wont be able to be with you once we graduate. in my consecutive entries.. there will be more.

This is too much alreay isnt it. You wont know nothing out of reading this now. I haven't gotten too deep into thinking about my future's path. So stay tune my loyal minions... I will explain one day. If the chance comes up again. I'm suddenly excited.

When in doubt follow your heart they say. What if i want to play games and finals are jjust around the corner. You gotta use your damn brain. The heart doesn't know what is important. Haha.

Initially I wanted to post something entirely different from the previous post. But now that i have posted it i have no idea what to write for this next one.

Moving on, I have been sleeping at odd hours lately because of the finals. and believe me if i have spent it more on studying it would be worth but im just wasting time. so today, as i start my day at 4.30pm, i will study and catch up with what i've left behind. argh..! this is really hard. To those who are doing medicine, if ur a lazy ass like me, please think twice. Go and be a pilot for all i care. you get money better and faster. hahah.

But I can only see myself doing this. I wont budge from this. I wonder what the future is in store for me. I'd never know but i will always work hard on getting to where i wannna go. yeah we, the students, complain everyday but that's the best part. We are learning and will continue the fight till we reach the top.

Oh by the way, i went to the movies the other day and watched cloudy with a chance of meatballs 3D. and to tell you the truth the 3D part was quite disappointing. Or rather a waste of time. It's totally the same with watching a normal movie added with layers. The things doesn't even come out of screen for you to be able to feel that it's right there in front of you. Well, it's an experience whatsoever.

Of and I have been on facebook like crazy lately because of my boredom. I'm imagining that i don''t have any studying to do. You know how facebook is being said the best online community on the internet and how it lessens the effort needed to keep in touch with a lot people and make new friends. At times, there is a time where people post new shoutouts that either say something like 'UNSW here i come' or 'bosannya studyyy.....' i mean these things are also a form of news that is being broadcasted to the world, at least, your friends. Which is great. until someone EMO. I'm not pointing names here i swear there is no grudge but at times i know these things are said to be pointed to one particular person referring to one particular event. There is one post that was talking about forgiving and forgetting. I know it's meant for that somebody. However, others can also comment on it. and on the surface it looks harmless. The worst part is, we have no idea what the person on both ends is really thinking. If you know the story behind it, then when you read these comments, it becomes obvious. hahah. But i dunno. It's just my opinion. maybe i'm imagining it again. like i usually do.

Well, i have been lucky in the sense that i get to hang out with my dearest everyday. I know that all we do is study but it makes me happy nonetheless. Unless somebody starts talking about religion. Ah... I don't even know if I should ignore the matter and just brush it off. I want to be taken seriously about this. but i wont argue with him either. Apart from that, things are great! I sometimes worry that one day bad things will happen as a test from God. I havent had any bad feeling but i don't want to say it too soon. And please i don't want to fail my finals. yet again. I'm very thankful for having the best time of my 20 years. I feel like a kid again. Im blabbering again. *sigh*.................... OH i finally have a new song for us. It's by Michael Buble - Havent met you yet. Please go listen to it on youtube. And check out the official music video. The blonde girl in it is his ACTUAL ARGENTINE GIRLFRIEND... aahhh love. cute. oh and if ur fan of Buble, check out his interviews as well. because he really is eccentric in a way and such a gentleman with a kid's attitude and an old soul. My description doesn't do him justice so, go watch the interviews on Oprah first then Graham Norton.

Okay, I'm guessing that i have spent about half an hour on this. I cant waste more time. I have to go fill in my brain with medical stuff that can help me pass my finals. For now, till then.

XOXO
Eli

Today is a very gloomy day. And it rained like crazy. It's all mellow and melancholy. I'm currently studying for my finals which is in 13 days. Excuse me while i go hurl my breakfast.... I'm not one to easily sit down and study like crazy hence i wasted my time playing bejeweled blitz in facebook and ended up procastinating 3 hours of my study time. but what the heck. i have the whole day to study anyway and nothing else to do so i guess thats my break time. from this second onwards i will study the cardiovascular system like mad. *closes window and opens bejeweled blitz on facebook* okay okay.. i will stop this nonsense.


Anyway, Deanna had her birthday last week. Oh and yes i did my ICA (refer to ICA in a day. FUCK post) and i think i passed it. Not aced it like some people i know who plays the damn guild ll and balloon tower defense and still pass with flying rainbow colors and unicorns. Fuck him.

Back to D....









My gorgeous baby cousin that finally turned 18 and now can drive. The laughter and tears we shared together. I miss hanging out with you. May you year ahead as an 18-year-old will be a blast and may all your wishes come true. May you rid of your worries and troubles and blessed with happiness all lifetime. I love you.


I shall post another one next to complain about my day and week and blah!!

Incourse assessment is in a day. less than 24 hours. and i have loads more to read. Forget the chapters that i havent read. Medicine isn't like any another subject. Where you just read chapters out of books. We have books and lecture notes and sefl-reading and extra knowledge. And it's all in case scenarios. I know most uni course exams are like that in other sense that you have cases realting to an applied concept but your chapters are exactly like how ours is. We cant read just a week before. I have to read more than a month before a small test. That's how much of reading we have to do.


Not that i'm trying to brag about how my course is hard. I swear if given a second life, i won't go through this again. Or maybe i will. I love it so much. It's just hard.I need to have more time and i tutor. other universities have tutors. How come ours don't. bodoh. All we have is casual discussions and group-studying. Not helping at all!!! GRRR..

Btw. Staying in vista is quite great. Well, he wants his own space i know and i think due to stress and emotional imbalance i tend to flare up my anger quite easily. I don't throw huge tantrums. Just mumble to myself about not going to stay here anymore and that im glad im going back tomoro. HAHAHA. but after a long hug. I'm okay. Aih........ Do i melt easily in his arms or what???? This is not GOOD. Hope he doesn't take advantage of that fact. Besides, I shouldn't be that mad over such a simple matter. He just moved my Adelle to a chair because he needs space on the table. Stil.... RUDE!!! But i'm okay now. Study like crazy now Jiayou!!! GANBATTE!!!! that's what Tamaki would say to me. HAha. I love you Tamaki Suou

I know that some of you disagree with me staying over at his place. But we're here to study and i sweat no hanky panky lah! hish! But you know, i realize that there is not place like home. You come over to a person's home or house and you have to behave. You can't be yourself. You can't do much nor can you have your own space. So i guess in Seremban, I'm more sure than ever that i don't want to share a house with somebody i'm in love with. Because i can't stand the rules. It's not black and white on paper its just there. Just a way of life. And i don't like it one bit. There's the invisible binding. The invisible rules. And you can't say anything about it because it's invisible and they might not know what you're talking about.

Yes, i am loud.
Yes i love to sing.
Yes, I'm not your ordinary prim and proper girl that keeps quiet and do as you're told.
I'm nothing like that.
I live my life as it is.
I am considerate. I know when to tone down my voice.
I know how to behave in another person's home.
I'm friendly.
I'm energetic.
I'm charming.
I'm cheerful.
I am always there for my friends and I never forget those important to me.

So now, it's clear that these things are just part of your lives and you see someone with different eyes. You have known it but you don't see it as a nuisance. Not until his personality crushes yours. I won't let anybody stop me from being myself. Not you too.

And i know you wont ever read this. Like the many times where i write things about you. I know its a pathetic attempt to tell you things. But i guess after writing this i will feel better so that everthing is resolved. Or left at that.

If you want me to be quiet and keep it down, then i will. I have a dark side. Just this morning i thought i haven't been in my dark side for a long time. So i guess i spoke too soon. That's it. Feel the wrath of my dark side.

Do you sleep?
The human body can only last 3 days without sleep at all. But don't try this if u are handling an operating machine. You can but you will die a painful death. but then again i'm sure you'll die sleeping. whatever, NEXT!!!

Do you get enough sleep? If so, how many hours do you sleep in a 24 hours cycle?
If you don't know please refer to next question. If you're tired and confused, maybe you're stressed up. If ur energized and fresh then CONGRATULATIONS! you're among the few people who are not sleep deprived! If you wake up feeling sleepier you might have over-slept. Or you didn't sleep at all.

When you wake up, how do you feel? Tired? Confused? Sleepier? Energized? Fresh?
Refer to previous question: Since i didn't have space to write a description for the question above i will fill in the void space. An average adult needs 7-8 hours of sleep. A baby almost 12hours and the elderly 6hours. For some mentally ill or extra excited, ie: a Maniac, you need less hours of sleep to talk more. Napoleon Dynamite err wrong Napoleon Bonaparte needed only 4 hours of sleep. Because he needed more time to make war strategies.

Do you take afternoon naps?
WHAT?? You do? You lucky b***hes and b*st*rds.! Normal people with a job and life have very little time. But this is recommended to give optimal performance when doing work.

Is there anything that bothers you during your sleep? A cat? A baby?
This is simple. If you do have all these nuisance, just throw them away. Got a cat? Give it away. Baby? Send it to the nursery or for adoption. Siblings? Kick them out! Husband? Put him up for auction. Or try and make them sleep with you.

When you sleep, do you dream? if so can you remember it? If yes, what did you dream of?
You get dreams because your brain activities actually increase during these times. Normally, a dream is vivid and illogical but at times there can be dreams that are related to your everyday life. This means that you're thinking too much about it and literally take the phrase 'sleep on it' to the heart. Wet dreams are normal for you gentlemen and also ladies. So don't be afraid to express yourself. You're dreaming anyway. You're not cheating on nobody. Have a great time and enjoy it!

What position do you sleep in?
Unless you have been engaging in kamasutra sexual positions, you only have a few sleeping patterns. On you back, on your sides (either curled on straight), On the wrong side of the bed, or on you tummy. Despite the resting feeling you get when sleeping eagle-spread on you tummy, make sure you have spaces to breathe. If you're trying to commit suicide then go ahead. Rarely, given limited space, you will sleep with your legs crossed (BERSILA).

Who do you sleep with?
This question is just invade your privacy. Normally they don't answer this. And SLEEP in this term has got nothing to do with lying on the bed with your eyes closed and your brain resting. Instead, well your eyes can be half-closed, mouth slightly open, but your brain definitely wont be reducing its activities. They will be at peak performance with SPIKY gamma-waves on the EEG.





To conclude, this questionnaire is just a waste of your time because I wanted to waste mine. But i hope you had a good laugh. Remember, sleep is important for you to have a great day ahead of you. Thank you. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Right this moment. As air goes through my lungs and my heart beats to continuously force the blood flow, my ear is receiving sweet melody sound waves that makes my breathing and heart rate faster. I have been hearing this tune over and over again for over than 24 hours already and i still don't tire away from it. It makes me think of all the happy things in my life. I realize that although my phone is not my essential, not my lifeline but i feel that it keeps some of my happy texts.


"Baby, if i could. I'd make the rain drops spead into the shape of a heart when it hits the windshield of the car.....miss you dah!"

"*steals a kiss from the girl who laughs so kuat*"
(He was in the other room)

"One baby....two baby....three baby... I'm counting the number of Eli jumping over the fence cos i miss her that much"

"My my..... you are beautiful XD"

"Miss Universe, nak autograph XD"

"Aishiteru XD"

"I like you. I don't care. Hehe. I have to go ims dah"

Recent ones:

"The smell of your perfume stuck on my shirt. I miss you XD be safe"
(right after i left.)

"Babyyyyy *grumpy* KISS! I miss you"

My favourites :

"You're eating at the mamak. Your leg hurts. I called you. Not much changed since a year ago. But it has been a great year with you around. Looking forward to another year with my baby. *hugs eli tightly and kisses her forehead gently* come close and sleep with me ok? I love you baby..... sweet dreams..."

"*hugs eli tightly from behind and strokes her gorgeous hair gently* baby, i know that you think i dont love you as much anymore and you're getting psycho over it i think. So i'm going to tell you now that i am not what your perfect man would be. I cant be what your perfect tamaki is and probably never will be. But i'm not letting my cute little baby go ok? I love her. I want to keep her. Mine all mine. So dont leave me. I love you"




Won't you be happy having all these texts in your inbox and being able to read it again and again? Well, if you have these texts, consider yourself lucky. I know I am.