I can only dream.




I'm not trying to say that I am ungrateful of what I have but boy do I wish I have a face like hers.

Everybody, meet Karen Lucille Hale a.k.a. Miss Lucy Hale. You might have seen her in Pretty Little Liars. Frankly, I don't follow the show but the face, I want... Beautiful.

xxx Eli

Morning in the PM.



I wish I have a Mac but truth be told I'm already quite happy with Adele. It's a beautiful shade of glossy red. Well, that picture there is my aim when I marry somebody. teehee. I dunno why. Not that I'm gonna get married anytime soon but it's such a couple-ish thing to do. When both are done with work, you snap the laptop shut, put it aside and make wild love! *giggles*
Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about. Almost everyday, i'm like this. Lying on a bed propped 90 degrees with a laptop typing or reading away. My book only occasionally picked up and read with little enthusiasm. Let me remind you, exams are a week away. I'm so screwed yet I'm not making any moves to buck up.

If you're an avid youtuber, you would find yourself glued to the screen watching really cool videos made by really cool people. Some of you may like stupid things done by stupid people. Some of you take it into a more academic course, watching talks, speeches, political bashings or debates. For me, being musically inclined and exposed at such a young age, I search for videos that inspire me through the music that they make. I think it's a subconscious need to live vicariously through these people since I chose the path of medicine. Today, upon opening my eyes at 3PM (slept at 8am today) I listened to this. The original singer was Nelly, you know the rapper, but this cover is absolutely breathtaking. The piano piece at the start.... very emotional.

So, if you ever love somebody put your hands up. *hands in the air*

Beautiful beautiful song.

xoxo
Eli

Okay, CLEARLY this isnt my tummy but I've been on the internet for hours now ( I practically go on the internet every waking moment) and I found a site about this girl who keeps tabs of her keeping fit regime. I was so inspired - while eating my bread and nutella at midnight - that I thought maybe I should keep tab of what I do too! The problem now is, exams are in the way. I try to put atleast 20 mins of sweating every other day but thats not enough is it? I weigh too much. I dont want to sound anorexic or tumble back into bulimic years but I guess it has to be a kind of obsession this diet thing for it to actually work. Now, exams or diet? Come on! I had a vision of being skinny in March! It's already January. How the hell am I suppose to do that! I'm just going to follow this site.


On other thing, I came across this guy on the tube. I find his everyday life quite mundane and sometimes very idiotic but oh boy he's such a talented, pleasant, smart, gorgeous looking nerd. He's kinda famous on Youtube. I mean, he's only the #1 for most subscribed channel in UK. I'm not even in UK!! I like UK though, if you know what I mean.

I'm gonna go now. To start shaping up and keeping my mind and body fit. *runs to the kitchen*

xoxo
Eli

The tip of an iceberg phenomenon.




I found my lower set retainers. Of course you can't see them but yes, that's me - yesterday when I was attempting to study in KFC in the wee hours. It didn't work of course because I was so distraught over.. nothing.

Oh yea... take a good look at my specs. It's so old that I need to change it. It keeps sliding of my nose and goes askew even when I don't ask it to me. I can't look down without putting my fingers on the bridge of my nose, in fear of losing my specs altogether. You know how blind as a bat I am that once i lose it, I can't find it again because I literally CANNOT SEE!

I have a feeling I'm going to start writing fiction again. Immerse myself in those fantasy, those blissful times where there is nothing but my feelings and words, indulge in those guilty pleasure where no one can tell me otherwise. Times like this, I worry if I'm going nutters.

God, help me. I'm in need of a slap in the face. And I only allow you to do it to me. Not me, not Hermione, YOU.... (see what I did there potter fans? --- urgh u guys are hopeless!!)

I would like to think I have good humor and have comedic skills.

(when I reread this before posting, I realize I show signs of Mania - flight of ideas)

Till then,
Eli Smelly

Overdue

Wow, it has been awhile since I last blogged! I'm in this abyss right now that whatever I do doesn't really cause me satisfaction. I don't feel happy. I laugh with my friends, housemates and Edward but I think I'm a bit too emotional right now. I have a feeling it's got something to do with the fact that all the songs in my computer playlist SEMUA EMO!!


You know how your hormones are shit load jumbled up just before you get your menses (period) ? Well, I'm sort of going through that but the difference is, I just finished my menses 3 days ago. This isn't right. I have all these thoughts of negativity. These impulses to revert back to my 'emo' days. Exams stress? Why can't I just get a fever or something. Atleast, I won't have appetite for a few days and can lose some weight~! hah.

Okay, for those who are reading this, I think you're gonna find this entry extremely dissatisfying - not that the previous posts have been a gold mine either - and uber boring. First of all, I don't have this great flow in writing in English unlike all other bloggers. I wish I have. I'm rambling again.... Something is definitely wrong with me.

I have loads that's going in my mind that I actually can't think straight. I have this naggy feeling. Well, I know one is partly because I havent been studying as much as I should and I'm procrastinating again. I got 3 reports to finish and I'm only starting on just one. I really should have hired somebody to put me straight on the right path. I'm so immature.

I'm stuck. Despite the gazillion things I have in mind, I am unable to pen it down or rather, I can't type it down on this blog. I thought, initially, that this post is going to be kind of personal but I guess I will never have the guts to put anything that personal here. Not that anybody reads this piece of crap.

Okay, next post will be more cheerful I swear. I have done loads of fun things from Christmas till now. I think that requires a new entry. This is too depressing. I don't even know if I'm gonna post it. Heck what's so hard about it. Just click the fucking post button. Bodoh!!

Sorry peeps, I've been away for so long and the first post I write about is me thinking of how pathetic I am. Ungrateful little bitch. Get your life straighten out Elisha.

Till we meet again

Elisha