Lights Off!!

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Saturday, March 27, 2010 12:39 PM


I didn't actually get to do earth hour last year. It was very informal and it just felt like we didnt pay the electricity bill. Pfft.

But this year, I'm meeting up with cousins and friends. Hope this works. But what is it that we can actually do? It's only for an hour. I gotta go get candles and what not. I have a backyard and it would be awesome. I wish my neighbours are gonna do it too.

Well, this is all angan angan.
We have pictionary, some games.
CANDLES! WE NEED CANDLES!

Okay, before anything, I need to finish my case summaries and reports.

2 Comments

Bridge

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Thursday, March 25, 2010 7:56 PM

You either walk on steel daggers jutting out of the white-hot floor, or you jump into the black abyss with agonized-wailings from down below. You're standing on a thin silver line of a bridge as you make that quick decision. Looking up, you see the ceiling is coming closer to a crushing finish.


What would you do?

Would step out towards impending pain?
Would you leap into the unknown?
Or would you stay on the bridge and await the end?

To me, it doesn't matter which way you choose to proceed from this tight situation. What you should do is look past the hardships and seek that destination you desire.
Take a good peek at it, no matter how big or small the ambition is, and say to yourself, "If i go through this, will it all be worth it?"

If your answer is YES, I extend my hand to congratulate you. Your reason to live is firmly grasp in your tiny fist.

If your answer is NO, no worries. Selawat and mengucap. You have the living side of death to deal with!


Just run through it!

0 Comments

Kisses fly from Penang to Seremban

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Wednesday, March 24, 2010 12:36 PM


No, Edward is here with me so it's not from him.

As I sit here in my warm room that i have gratefully acclimatize to, thinking of my waffles while my tummy growls in frustration, typing my report, waiting for my load of whites to be done in the machine and waiting every fifteen minutes anxiously for the horn in MouseHunt to appear on the screen so that I can click it and begin my hunt, I stop and wonder what my family member is doing. Mind you, dearest sister is complaining about the household that I was forced to think of them and found out that the whole jing-bang in is Penang with my cute little nieces. *pulls hair in frustration* You can all chip in and buy me a flight ticket to Penang!

And so, just like a masochist, to further torture myself, I asked for a picture of the adorable bundle of hyperactivity on sugar!


Isn't she wonderful? I love you Baby Az.
P/S: picture of Fiz was not necessary.

0 Comments

Craving.

Posted by Miss Khalid , , 8:55 AM

I'm at home. I've been getting more than enough rest and i think it's time for me to get half a day off to finish all my paperwork that I've been pushing to the back of my head. I don't have any case presentation today but just CSU. We're learning how to do IV injection technique and IV drip. I tried venepuncture once but failed halfway so i need to pluck up more courage to get over that failure. Ah!


Anyway, I've been wanting to eat this particular waffles that the Hospimart makes. It smells delicious everytime i walk pass it on my way to wards. Unfair isn't it? With my empty tummy grumbling and sometimes, auto-digesting, it's a bit cruel. And I never had the time to go buy, or i was too hungry to just eat a piece of chocolate and peanut butter waffles.

Speaking of Peanut Butter, I miss Peanut the guinea pig. I hope you are well and happy with no tummy ache in Heaven. Love you.

This is a more exaggerated look of the waffles that I would like to gobble down right this minute.
I asked Edward to go buy it. PFFFTTT He did not. Well, I'll go get them today. Heeee *smiles*
I'll let you drool on this tasty treat while I go and start, continue and finish my summaries and reports.

Toodles.

2 Comments

Eli's Anatomy

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Tuesday, March 23, 2010 9:51 PM

No No! This isn't porn. *sighs* I haven't watched grey's anatomy in ages, so I kind of miss all the Mc's in those drama.

Most of you already know, I've finished my Phase l of Medical School and now I'm doing the clinical part in Seremban Hospital. Life is so hectic! It's full of classes and case presentations and ward rounds, hence the minor depression.

But today, I laughed so much with my friends in the wards that I was very happy! I laughed in class even and still learned a lot. I know that I would've seem rude back then in the wards but the happy balloon was swelling inside of me that I smiled all day long! HEEEEE**

One of my thyroid patients *identity not revealed to protect patient's confidentiality* was also very hyper and she kept me laughing too! She asked me:

"Kerja lama lama, habis belaja suda umur tiga puluh! Ish, macam mana nak cari abang?!"

I laughed so hard some patients were staring. *sorry sorry* Hahaha. Abang eh? I thought of McDreamy in Grey's Anatomy. So I looked around the wards. It would be impossible for Seremban Hospital to be full of handsome hunks and dudes. Aih.. Depressi lagi la.

Most of our jokes are dirty jokes anyway, so if there are no McSteamies or McDreamies how can we survive life in the hospital? I thought of Jeremy (this really cute Chinese Indian mix senior of mine) but then I have a feeling he knows how good he looks. *PASS!!*

But then, I saw THIS:
Doesn't he look dreamy to you........?

I've always had him that I took him for granted. Heee *smiles*

xoxo
Eli

0 Comments

Lazy Sunday

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Sunday, March 21, 2010 6:01 PM

I stole that phrase from an old friend of mine from facebook. Ah. Sundays. You feel lazier than any other days. I guess it's because tomoro is Monday and it's the start of yet another long week. You start your day with an already crappy feeling because on Saturday you didn't actually do something that was exciting.


Exciting, mind you, can be anything. Not just 'that'. Some days you just want to chill at home with friends. Some days you want it to be an exciting day. Go out, dress up, do something out of this house. yes yes the massage was relaxing but it was costly. And me not having a car is making me feel so down. I have to depend on people. I want my viva back! at least i can go wherever without having to ask for keys or waiting for that person to want to go out. At times like this I want to be able to take a drive and find peace. By myself.

Im suppose to go to the hospital today. Actually i was suppose to go on wednesday but i've been postponing. This is madness. I think i have a disease. Can i take some pills for it? It is a new era anyway, so everything should be possible right? Pfft.. It's all in your head again, Elisha. Maybe I'm Alice. I just watched that movie and I think i'm very much like Alice. I dont like doing something just because people say it's the right thing to do. I want to be able to think of impossible things before breakfast. I want to do the things I want to do.

The shitty part is, when you want to do something with a certain someone, but the feeling/want is not mutual. How do you deal with that? Get another person to do it with you? Or be the stupid person and WAIT till that person wants to do something. Fuck la. I'm known to hate waiting so there is no point in staying put and tagging him like a puppy. But why am I still angry?

Im frustrated with myself for always including you in everything i do. I set a trap for myself. Now I'm stuck, hurt, bleeding and left alone to lick my self-inflicted wound. HOW DEPRESSING! Takkan nak period lagi. This can't be PMS so i need time to sort myself out again. I don't think this is Clinical Depression because im not depressed 5 times a week.

Huff... This isn't going away anytime soon. So I won't bother with this for now. I will see pass this. I am better than that! Come on Eli! You can do it~!

0 Comments

Manners

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Saturday, March 20, 2010 8:24 PM

We grow up with different cultures and traditions all around us. But upbringing will be the main teacher to living etiquette.


"If it concerns people who have helped you, you should at least visit their house and stay for more then an hour." -- YOU taught me that.

So why is it that when MY family comes to bring US food, you rather stay in the house? Tak reti nak salam eh? Yea, the way i say it, sounds VERY MELAYU to you so your upbringing must be different. WRONG! In English, it's called greeting the elderly. I know you don't like them so much and you think it's a hassle for you to change to something more decent - since ur upbringing is different - to go greet them. But please. Think. Mind your manners. And listen to what you say.

I can't teach it to you because you will go your way regardless. I hate bringing up old issues so don't make me remind you that i agreed to you staying here if not your life would be pretty miserable.

Oh wait, i forgot. you have tonnes of friends. You won't give a shit. That's right. You never do. You say you do but the way you act is not. And don't say it is all in my head. You think it's fine to act the way you do.

Whatever. If you wanna be a bitch, i can be one too. But i wont stoop so low.

Right now this is anger talking. And you dont read my blog anyway so why the hell should i care?

Ina few minutes, when i cool down we will talk.
Yes Mister we will.

Gotta go. Mum is not here yet. So when she comes, i would like to see how you react.

Bye

2 Comments

Eager

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Monday, March 15, 2010 8:30 PM

Im not exactly happy that after all this, you chose to leave me hanging. What i don't get is, i didn't care as much until you actually contact everyone else but me. Did I do something wrong? I helped with all that i can. Of course i feel bad when people talk about you and i can't help laugh at the jokes but to actually not update me on what is gonna happen to you. To me that's just rude. No courtesy.
I know we're not best of friends but i really think that i deserve to know how it is going in your life. Of course you said thank you and that you appreciate it really.

What i cant comprehend is my degree of irritatedness. Why the hell am i so bothered by this? *sigh* i need some love. And my edward is soooo busy with his career that he is neglecting me. Fine im bitchy at certain times of the month and it is the GODDAMN time already! Why am I ranting like a lunatic again? I have so many things to say. But i swear to you, you need parental guidance. It's effing explicit. I can't blog about it so what the hell can i do? I need to scream and shout and cry like how i let my buried-deep feelings out. It's just a mechanism of coping. And after the storm, there will always be sunshine again. That I believe in. Because I'm like that.

No point in typing so much. I should get a move.



*part of me feels like im such a monster. Do I actually like her being miserable? Im so going to hell. Help*

0 Comments

Kilograms

Posted by Miss Khalid , , 7:16 PM

I know I'm gaining weight. I'm trying to lose it. Just chill about it already. It's getting annoying.

i need to exercise but i just dont have the energy yet. I'm still getting used to my clinical phase. I'm determine to to venepuncture by this week. Ganbatte!!!

I miss my family when it's all laughs and all smiles. Nowadays, it's shouting, curses, cries and stupid stupid ego. Haven't heard dad laugh like how he did in the car the other day for ages.

I actually dont care sangat but deep down i have that small kid in me who wants everything to be sugar spice and all nice. I love disneyland for Peter Pan's sake.

Okay, that's all i have for now. Will update more at night.

Toodles.

0 Comments

TBL

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Thursday, March 11, 2010 7:06 PM

Task-based learning. A three hour session that can stretch to four when your facilitator, a DR or a PROF, is somebody dedicated to teaching hence time isn't an issue. Personally, i like it. The atmosphere is not so tensed. And you already know what are the topics that needs to be covered. You basically, find two cases in the wards during your morning ward rounds and clerking patients. You present the case to your group - those unfortunate ones who couldn't find cases - then you brainstorm. What learning issues you can conjure up in your tired, little brains.

That is the main problem. The shriveled up mass of grey matter just wont function as normally in the evening like it does in the morning. So by the time you end that grueling session, you feel that sleep is the only thing you can, want, and need to do.

So Im back after a tbl. and this is the last of the week after two consecutive ones. Imagine, ending a day for the past three days with the extremely taxing class.

Guess what I'm about to do......

You got that right.ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz

0 Comments

Relax is never a time given.

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Wednesday, March 10, 2010 9:06 PM

Relax. Take it easy.
Mika lied to us. all of us.
I can't relax and take it easy.
I'm dealing with pride, ego, lives and hearts here.
I miss writing.


Words come to me rarely these days.
You came into sight,
with your smile, bright.
And my heart pulls with all its might.
It must be the way your falls.
The piercing black eyes.
A quiet face with that crooked smile.
I like it best when you slump off, tired.
Makes it all the more innocent.

A tie centered on the sleek, ironed, shirt-clad chest.
The tag that bears your name in pride,
The polite voice when you try to suck it up to 'Gods'
My curses are all pretense.
To bury the overwhelming love i feel for you.
It's too much for me without hurting.
One day, when all of it fall into place.
I will see you again.
Out in the open.

0 Comments

Keys And Magnets.

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Sunday, March 07, 2010 1:02 AM

okay, so i surprised my family. Eleena and Dad had a karaoke competition in KGNS so i was in KL to surprise them. I didnt want to stay in kl because i have tons of things to do in seremban the next day. Things were going out as planned until i lost the magnet to uk's car keys.


Do you know what im talking about? Those keys that wont start unless you have a certain magnet or device or code number keyed-in to the bloody security system. So imagine a simcard about yay thick (an inch) and a small 5sent-circumference magnet is embedded in the middle. Can you see it now in ur inner mind? Okay picture that damn magnet missing because the simcard looking case is cracked. Imagine the torture I had to go through when i was looking for it in the middle of the street, pitch black under the hot night atmosphere. OH MYGOODNESS!!!! But i kept it cool. Well, not so much but i didnt shout at anyone. and i said sorry a gazillion times. Uk was with our imu friends, sara, sazzi, wj, and jimmy and they had to come all the way from shah alam to KGNS to help search for that damn magnet. *guilty guilty, chews on bottom lip*

So in the end, after the agonizing search, just effing guess where the magnet was? It was stuck to the key's head. MACAM PANTAT KAN? and now, im back at sara's place because uk said it was rude that the mahjong game had to stop abruptly. I wont argue because i made them pause the game. So here i am at sara's beautiful place and blogging away. Okay, Allah, i know it's a sign. I wont be surprise if uk doesnt want to go back. He is driving afterall. I took a quick shower actually in the loooooong green shower/bathroom. Awesome. Im all fresh and nice smelling in a cold room where the mahjong game resumed and very very very sleepy.

After the happy karaoke scene - where i liven the party by performing 'it's raining men' - it became exhausting and i foresee that it'll be a tad bit emotional. My period's coming. I hope none of this will happen during postings. I have a lot of things to do in Seremban. So please UK i wanna go back home. I will drive no matter how late it is. Sweet dreams.


*life is a cycle*

1 Comment

A changed life.

Posted by Miss Khalid , , Thursday, March 04, 2010 6:45 PM

I made the decision to study medicine actively with my parents support. And little did i know that once you enter clinical school and the job of leading 21 students in one of the most hectic department. Internal Medicine. Everybody says its gonna be busy. But nobody told me is was going to be confusing. Nobody told me that, being a leader (being conveniently there), you have no time to stop and think what is going to happen and you can't day dream away your time at all. Well, of course i expected that our time is going to be jam packed but such a forceful drive of business is being loaded on our shoulders that it is throwing me back. Especially when im a leader right now. I should have swtiched to surgery to make myself more free. but as it is. this is that process of maturing and i have to take it with a stride. as of right now im stumbling like crazy because tomoro i have no idea where the briefing is and when. im gonna die. so this blog is just to tell myself that i chose this path and to stick with it. because if i cant i will consider myself as the loser. the failure. I feel terrible for not being able to inform the rest of the group posting members. so tomoro. by all means. i will drive there myself, with uk's car since i have none of my own, and go to the reception early, book a bloody room and wait for Dr Esha Gupta to come. Good thing she is known for her lack of punctuality. By i God i pray that she doesnt suddenly wake up in the morning and decide to be disciplined. I need time to figure this out. So just give me a minute, Damn it. Okay. Dah. nak balik tidur. bye.




sorry readers for not being able to update. I will try now and then. I can't broadcast my patients to you though. Some medical ethics stuff.


have a nice weekend.

1 Comment