I know that some of you disagree with me staying over at his place. But we're here to study and i sweat no hanky panky lah! hish! But you know, i realize that there is not place like home. You come over to a person's home or house and you have to behave. You can't be yourself. You can't do much nor can you have your own space. So i guess in Seremban, I'm more sure than ever that i don't want to share a house with somebody i'm in love with. Because i can't stand the rules. It's not black and white on paper its just there. Just a way of life. And i don't like it one bit. There's the invisible binding. The invisible rules. And you can't say anything about it because it's invisible and they might not know what you're talking about.
Yes, i am loud.
Yes i love to sing.
Yes, I'm not your ordinary prim and proper girl that keeps quiet and do as you're told.
I'm nothing like that.
I live my life as it is.
I am considerate. I know when to tone down my voice.
I know how to behave in another person's home.
I'm friendly.
I'm energetic.
I'm charming.
I'm cheerful.
I am always there for my friends and I never forget those important to me.
So now, it's clear that these things are just part of your lives and you see someone with different eyes. You have known it but you don't see it as a nuisance. Not until his personality crushes yours. I won't let anybody stop me from being myself. Not you too.
And i know you wont ever read this. Like the many times where i write things about you. I know its a pathetic attempt to tell you things. But i guess after writing this i will feel better so that everthing is resolved. Or left at that.
If you want me to be quiet and keep it down, then i will. I have a dark side. Just this morning i thought i haven't been in my dark side for a long time. So i guess i spoke too soon. That's it. Feel the wrath of my dark side.
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