Story of A Goddess

Finally in my own bed having my oh so precious alone time. somebody once said to me that i dont spend time with myself 'cause i'm always busy doing things for other people. i don't think its such a bad think. makes me think that im not so selfish and i love helping people. but a solitary life is just what i need to escape all the family drama and such. mind you, i love my family but not everyone can please you.

anyway, i had a great weekend. i did some studying and watched movies and spent quality time with UK. Bliss~ today, i realized how inquisitive he is. very intelligent. knowledgeable. always wanting to know about how things work and what this is or what that is. He was showing me a list of recent movies that he downloada and some of them are... DISCOVERY channel documentations. or NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. AAHHH such an adorable nerd! i love him!

one of the documentation was about the death of the earth. showing how mega natural disasters are coming sooo close and these events can sweep off humanity by the ass! i only watch the first five minutes. you know, the one where they try and give you the intro and summary on what was going to be talked about?? yea.. that one. i got depressed. Im afraid of it. of course i am. i have my beliefs and such. so i asked him. ''when you watch all this, you still don't believe and God? or any other form higher power to say the least?" he said NO. told me that it's all a cycle and yada yada yada. i tuned out because i couldn't take it. I dont know......

It's not that i wasn't aware of our differences just that it shows that when the world does come to an end. everything here on earth wont matter anymore. I know where we muslims will end up. i've sinned i'm pretty sure where i'm ending up in hell first but for him? he doesn't believe in it. He thinks logically and it made me cry. I'm more scared FOR him than i am for myself. I have my faith still embedded in me so i can still reach salvation in time. but him? He still needs to have faith. I'm not forcing im just afraid and sad. and i really hope the best for him. I'd like to think that wherever he is, no matter if we're together or not. when it all ends. all my loved ones have a safe place for them in the after life. If u happen to be an atheist, please, this entry is not me trying to preach. it's just my opinion and my thoughts. Carrying on, he was curious as to why i was crying. He told me that i'll have my family then and he will be with me. I don't know what to say. I can still cry thinking of these things. but i have to live my life as it is now. i cant worry too much about the future that i don't know of.

Closing the entry, i still had a great time with family and UK. I love all of them very much. allthough i didn't get a chance to see dean this week. i miss her. she;s having fun with her afs friends............. cant wait for beyonce. so i gotta study!!

Love you.